Interview with a Toddler

In many ways, Avi leads the life of a celebrity. She receives an exorbitant amount of attention in both the private and public spheres of her life. Much of what the world knows about her is filtered through the selective nature of media (i.e., blogs, websites, photos, and video). We decided to get up close and personal with Avi and discuss what’s currently on her mind-- in her words. Avi was kind enough to spend a few moments with her father in the living room of her beach home, on a sunny fall October afternoon. We discussed a wide range of topics spanning art, religion, politics, and apple juice.

Daddy: I want to thank you, Avi, for taking time out of your schedule to sit and do this interview. I know your time is in high demand and you currently have several projects going on. You could be doing your regular weekly hike, hosting a get-together with your friends and their moms, practicing your gymnastic agility on the trampoline, or keeping up with your acquaintances at parent participation and stroller strides.

Avi: Da.

Daddy: So tell us, Avi, what does it feel like to have a brain that is absorbing information at a staggering rate-- a rate that would literally make an adult completely pass out on the floor? The world is old and your mind is so new. Does your brain ever get sore from all of that activity? Does your head ever overheat? We’re talking about a lot of energy here.

Avi: Da.

Daddy: Hmm. Lately, you’ve been doing a lot of talking. Some would call it babbling, though the discerning listener will be able to pick up on the subtlety of actual words, particularly mimicked words that you repeat back to the speaker. You often speak in a string of words and sentences, sometimes paragraphs. And just the other day, you shared what appeared to be an actual story that you were recounting. By the rise and fall of your pitch, and wide hand motions accompanied by leg jumping, it was quite dramatic and seemed to involve dynamite explosions or a big bouncing ball.

Avi: Baw Baw bee-bee do. Duh doh-doh.

Daddy: Does this mean that you will be--

Avi: - Ga! Gaaaa! Anah ma daw.

Daddy: --that you will be less interested in continuing your sign language studies?

Avi: [no reply to this last question]

Daddy: Well, I hope you don’t, because you have several signing words under your belt (like “milk,” “food,” “down,” “ball,” and “drink.” Plus, you are an avid pointer. You point on command to many stated objects and most major body parts. And there is a lot of force in that little index finger of yours.

Avi: [no reply. At this point, Avi walks over to the kitchen table, finds a random cheerio underneath, and places it in her mouth].

Daddy: Apparently, you don’t ascribe to the 5 second rule?

Avi: Aaah! [Avi points to her high chair at the end of the table which means she would like some food. I pause the interview at this point to place her on the chair and provide some turkey, pita bread, and hummus. She rejects the bread & hummus by tossing it on the floor, and duly stuffs as much turkey in her mouth as she can before I remove her plate. After less than ten seconds, she’s ready to get down. She finds her sippy and takes in some apple juice. The interview resumes.]

Daddy: So Avi, where does your sense of affection come from? You are often found hugging other small children, particularly other princesses like yourself, and even after having barely made small talk. While some children find this flattering, others appear intimidated by your hugs and head-nuzzling.

Avi: Na na bee-bee doh. Bah bee, bee bee. Da.

Daddy: Let’s move onto the subject of art. You’ve always been impartial to music and dancing, and have been described as “lyrical”; in fact, you can be heard singing melodies in your morning crib. Plus, you never hesitate to get down the second a musical beat is heard. But lately you’ve taken some interest in the visual arts- particularly the medium of a ball point pen, which you prefer over crayons. Your style can be described as a mix of wide, bold, and repeated strokes, with interludes of tense, intricate movements; you seem to be straining to achieve something in particular before abandoning the whole thing. Care to share any thoughts on this?

Avi: Haw! Yeaaah! Ha baw bay da-be-do-ba. Yeaaah! Haw. Haw.

Daddy: Interesting. So, any forecasts on the upcoming state elections?

Avi: [Avi disregards the question, having exited the room, and is now climbing the steps towards the front door. She’s decided to end the interview at this point and move on to her next venture. ]