Daddy is all the man she needs

We are watching The Little Mermaid right now and Ariel falls in love with Prince Eric. While Ariel is stroking his face, Avi innocently says, "That's her daddy." I realize with a full heart that every man that a woman loves wholly & deeply is a daddy. She loves her dad & he's a daddy. I love Michael & he's a daddy. I love Boppy & he's a daddy.

Thank God she's got a good daddy to set the tone of love for her life & as a standard of kindness for her marriage someday.

Thank you, Mila.

Mila, you are such a good little baby.  Everyday, numerous times, I say to myself and others, Mila is such a good baby!  You just are so easy and fun to be around.  You hardly complain, you sleep great, you eat good, you are fairly predictable, you smile and flirt with everyone you see, you converse with people, you tolerate your 3-year-old sister wild toddler ways, and you love being carried around in the sling or in the ergo baby.  Thank you for making this supremely special time in my life (having an infant)  and even more gratifying experience for being the cool person you are.

Thank you, God, for Mila's personality.  She's awesome!

At Home with Mila

Just being at home with a newborn, skin to skin, doing nothing - these are some of the best days of my life...

 Mila, my newborn, this time with you has been so precious!  Just as I was with Avi, I am so in awe of you!  God made you perfect – your ears, your tiny fingers, your skin, your everything!  I’m so lucky I get to stare at you, feel your softer-than-air skin, smell your newborn sweetness, carry you around and have you fall asleep in my arms.  Oh and you make me laugh! How you make me laugh!  One of my favorite Silly Mila moments is when you wake up and want milk. You are such a sleepy little thing that you won’t even bother opening your eyes to look for the nipple, you will just open your mouth wide, and swing you head from side to side like you are saying “no” – I have to position myself in the right spot so your sweeping mouth will come in contact and you can latch on.  You are so hilarious!  I also love how you smile in your sleep!  Especially after you have some milk, I will lay you back down and your eyes will be closed and I can’t tell if you’re asleep or just in a dream-like state, but you will give these little 1-2 second smiles – so genuine and so contagious. 

 I also love seeing your dad hold you.  It’s hard being the second child – I wish we had more time to just lay together – your dad and me and you – but when we do get a second together, I love looking at your dad looking at you.  His whole body changes: he turns all soft and innocent looking, just by looking at you!  His face takes on a content and proud silent countenance. 

 Today you are 4 weeks old.  You are one moon old.  (I love how you were born on a full moon – I will remember your wonderful birth every time I see the full moon for the rest of my life.)  You seem to be growing up too quickly – I want this newborn stage with you to last for years!  I’m actually tearing up right now as I write this…  I want you to know that I loved you before you even uttered a word, before you did any “thing” for me, before you ever said “I love you, Mommy” – I love you just because you are you, because you are Mila, because you are here and you are now. Please remember those that love you for just being you are those that are worth loving in return.  God’s grace is so magnificent, so grand, and so incomprehensible – except to me as the mother of a little newborn like you, I think I now have a tiny glimpse of its greatness.  Thank you for this gift of God and grace and understanding.

 I love every part of being a mother.  I hope Aveah and Mila enjoy being a mother as much as I do, should they choose to have children.  I love the way my body adapts to being a mother – from lack of sleep resilience, to milk supply, to emotional love growth – it’s like I’m truly fulfilling what I was meant to be in life.  I know that what I’m doing right now is exactly what I am meant to be doing right now.  That is a nice realization. 

Letters to Our Little Baby

Hi little baby,

Even though I haven't written much about you, I want you to know I think about you all the time. I'm so glad you've chosen to join this family. I think about how God knew you before you "were", God's "eye[s] saw [your] unformed body" (Psalm 139:16). That gives me a deep sense of joy knowing that your soul was paired with this family and me before you were even conceived!

Aveah, your big sister, loves you so much already! She's always thinking of you - she asks, Is baby coming?, when we go somewhere (as if you'd decide to just stay home this one time!). She kisses you and tries to feed you (through the skin of my belly). The other day she was playing with you by pushing gently on my belly. Immediately, you responded and pushed back - it was amazing! I realized how much you two already have connected! I knew that you were playing back with her.

Right now, we have your name picked as "Judah Sky" for a boy, and "Mila Olive" for a girl.  I have no idea what you are!  My head says it's a girl, but my gut says it's a boy.  I can't believe we haven't found out what gender you are - but that's okay - it makes me that much more excited to meet you!

It's strange how much I love you already.  It's a blessing of the second child for the parent to know, really know that there is a real human being in there - whereas with your first child, it seems very abstract.  I'm really treasuring these moments I still have you in my belly.  I know that these are some of the closest moments I will ever be to you: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Mothers are truly blessed chalices.

Thank you, Baby, for choosing us and for being with us right now.

                                                                       . . .

Hey little one,

This is your dad, and I'm writing to you so you can look back at this when you're older and know how it was going with me when you were just a bun in the oven. I want you to know that the experience and feeling I have toward you is primarily peaceful. You, too, seem comfortable in the place where you're at and so far, have made this experience a relatively comfortable one for your mother who often says that she would be content to just stay pregnant with you (so I guess her peace has quite a bit of influence on mine). And even though I haven't experienced you nearly at the depth as she has, and don't know your gender (I wanted to find out beforehand, but your mom wanted to make it a surprise so I gave in, since she deserved it, of course), I'm aware of your uniqueness. Your introduction to others-- by your mother's looming belly-- brings joy to people who always remark how cute this belly is. I'm looking forward to knowing your personality and experiencing the joys and passions of this life with you. Let's do some awesome things together. Let's envision big and be involved in making those things happen in this small world. I wrote over you (literally, on your mother's belly), a few things I hope for you- peacefulness, joy in your inmost being, faithfulness to God, strength to do good things, a healthy mind and body, a giving attitude and way of living, to be present with people and understanding of them, and to be active in this world.

I hope you and I will love each other and understand one another for the rest of our lives. You're joining our team now and I welcome you as an important part of us.
6-3-12

Joy. And Mommy Abuse.

Avi brings me so much joy.  When I think of her, and Michael's around, I always say, "Thanks for giving her to me, she's the best present in the world."  He'll reply with something like, "She's the best..." and get a dreamy, far-away look in his eye and then repeat an endearing tale of something cute she did earlier that day.  We are totally smitten and in love.  

We each express our love to her in different ways. Mommy likes to be sort of rough, and throw her around on the bed or couch and nibble on her feet, belly, neck, arms, anything!  Avi loves it.  Her giggle is uncontrollable and totally infectious!  She can handle all the abuse love!

shhh....

Michael turned to me in bed the other night as we were falling asleep and looking at Avi laying peacefully asleep in bed between us.  He whispered in the most secretive hush, "She's an angel disguised as a human baby."  The sincerity in which he said that made me laugh out loud and wake the sleeping "angel".

hands of love.

Great-grandma Louise holds Aveah. Eighty-eight years of wisdom and love surround Aveah's three week body and soul.

The Art and Science of Stealing Kisses from a Newborn.

First survey your subject.  Move in slowly.  

Make your first move quickly and adeptly.

Worry not about squishing eyes or other facial parts.

Be prepared for subject to apprehend you with cute looks.

If necessary, steal kisses from whatever body part lands near your mouth.

Bellies are fair game - especially during a tummy ache.

If subject places finger in mouth - kiss it...

... just don't bite it - or you may get a surprised expression from subject.

Be prepared for erratic movements of newborn subject.  Capitalize on the opportunity to kiss the elbow.

And always let mommy steal her kisses, too!