Thursday, July 26, 2012

My Little Lover

Avi, tonight I put you in bed and started to walk away and you said, "Mommy, don't go." You usually don't say this, so my heart strings were pulling me back into your room, then into your bed. I curled on my side, spooning your entire little body, my nose nuzzled into your left cheek, your left arm between the mattress and my neck. You were quiet and so was I. The room was dark except for the blue hint from your nightlight. Every few minutes, I would give you a kiss or you would turn and give me one. Once, as if timed by the stars, we both gave each other a synchronized kiss. I wrapped my arms tighter around you & you smiled at me with no words. I was deeply happy - drunk on this content feeling of having my love next to me.

When your daddy and I first met, we wanted our friendship to be first, so we didn't do much other than kiss, snuggle & hug. At night, we would hold each other for hours until one had to leave to go home & sleep for the night. Leaving each other was so hard because the gentle embrace we silently shared was so pure, so bright, so peaceful & full of everything that was anything...

Tonight, when I whispered in your ear that I'd have to leave soon, I felt that same deep sadness, that same longing for this perfectly content moment to last forever. Oh, how I wish I had a hundred lifetimes to live by you side, my little lover.