Meagan's Wedding & Avi's Debut as a Flower Girl

Beautiful Meagan!

 So, when Meagan asked if Aveah could be the flower girl, I was very nervous!  I've seen enough weddings to know that toddlers don't always act as expected.  Michael said, don't worry whatever she does will be cute.  So, she got about 20 percent down the aisle and stopped and ran back to Mimi.  Mimi sort or pushed her out again and Avi angrily threw a couple of petals while crying.  I felt so bad! I know how intimidating a crowd of strangers must be to a 2-year-old - and I couldn't do anything because I was the one taking photos!  It all worked out good, Avi got to go to Sitti's lap after she made it about 80 percent down the aisle and everyone thought she was super cute!

Playing with Mimi at the spa fountain.  I had Mimi come just to watch Avi because there were 3 bodies of water we worried about: a pond, a pool and a spa!  Nervous mother's hell!  Especially since I almost drowned in a spa when I was 2 years old - my mom ran around the corner and pulled me out just after I had stepped in!

Sitti and Aveah.  Two pretty women!

Matthew Anthony (can't call him Little Matt anymore!), Sitti, Matthew, Aveah and Michael.

The bride and groom with the flower girl and ring bearer.

I was 8 months pregnant - my feet were definitely tired at the end of the day - but not hurting, thank God!

One of my favorite pictures of Meagan and Casey!

Maren, Aveah & Mila (in belly)

Before I get too far behind on posts, here's the last "maternity shoot" we did before Mila came out.  Of course, at this time, we didn't know if she was Mila Olive or Judah Sky... 

Mothers!

Life and love is in a mother.  Obviously, right now, I’m all about mothering, but being mothered is the best thing in the world!  Finding love, knowing God, and being mothered with love – and I have all three things. 

Both Michael’s mom and my mom came to stay with us each for a week after Mila was born. Michael and I joked it was like having a wife!  They cleaned, cooked, washed clothes, picked up, went grocery shopping, helped with Aveah, helped with Mila, got up in the middle of the night and carried around crying Mila so we could sleep, and much more!  Thank you, Mom, you are the best gift we could have ever wanted!

The day Mila was born we had quite a lot of visitors!  Lots of moms in this picture - Maren, Sitti, Gigi, Mimi!  

Mimi was great with Avi - spending over 10 days of fun with her!  They went swimming, to the park, to classes, to friends, and all over the county!

Sitti holding hours old Mila.  When we called Sitti to tell her that Mila was born, she said "Ok, I'm leaving now."  She didn't waste anytime getting over here to see Mila!

At Home with Mila

Just being at home with a newborn, skin to skin, doing nothing - these are some of the best days of my life...

 Mila, my newborn, this time with you has been so precious!  Just as I was with Avi, I am so in awe of you!  God made you perfect – your ears, your tiny fingers, your skin, your everything!  I’m so lucky I get to stare at you, feel your softer-than-air skin, smell your newborn sweetness, carry you around and have you fall asleep in my arms.  Oh and you make me laugh! How you make me laugh!  One of my favorite Silly Mila moments is when you wake up and want milk. You are such a sleepy little thing that you won’t even bother opening your eyes to look for the nipple, you will just open your mouth wide, and swing you head from side to side like you are saying “no” – I have to position myself in the right spot so your sweeping mouth will come in contact and you can latch on.  You are so hilarious!  I also love how you smile in your sleep!  Especially after you have some milk, I will lay you back down and your eyes will be closed and I can’t tell if you’re asleep or just in a dream-like state, but you will give these little 1-2 second smiles – so genuine and so contagious. 

 I also love seeing your dad hold you.  It’s hard being the second child – I wish we had more time to just lay together – your dad and me and you – but when we do get a second together, I love looking at your dad looking at you.  His whole body changes: he turns all soft and innocent looking, just by looking at you!  His face takes on a content and proud silent countenance. 

 Today you are 4 weeks old.  You are one moon old.  (I love how you were born on a full moon – I will remember your wonderful birth every time I see the full moon for the rest of my life.)  You seem to be growing up too quickly – I want this newborn stage with you to last for years!  I’m actually tearing up right now as I write this…  I want you to know that I loved you before you even uttered a word, before you did any “thing” for me, before you ever said “I love you, Mommy” – I love you just because you are you, because you are Mila, because you are here and you are now. Please remember those that love you for just being you are those that are worth loving in return.  God’s grace is so magnificent, so grand, and so incomprehensible – except to me as the mother of a little newborn like you, I think I now have a tiny glimpse of its greatness.  Thank you for this gift of God and grace and understanding.

 I love every part of being a mother.  I hope Aveah and Mila enjoy being a mother as much as I do, should they choose to have children.  I love the way my body adapts to being a mother – from lack of sleep resilience, to milk supply, to emotional love growth – it’s like I’m truly fulfilling what I was meant to be in life.  I know that what I’m doing right now is exactly what I am meant to be doing right now.  That is a nice realization. 

Aveah and Mila, Part 1.

 Oh, my! How you are blessed by each other!  I always wanted a sister, and I’m so happy you two have each other.  Avi you already love your little sister so much.  You kis her constantly, talk soothingly to her when she cries, want to hold her in your arms every chance you can, you ask when we leave the house if Mila is coming… And, Mila, even though you can’t talk or even purposefully gesture yet, we can tell how you get calm when Avi is near if you are fussing, and we see how alert and interested you are when you hear your sister’s voice.  You love staring at her and being near her.  Bless you two, and your lifelong relationship. 

 Mila's first day alive - not even 24 hours old and Avi is holding her little sister.

 Mila got Aveah a present: a Super-Avi cape and mask.  Avi loved it!  Aveah got Mila a present too: a stuffed stacking ring toy (Mila can't really play with it yet, but we're sure she'll love it soon!)

 These next pictures are of Mila at two days old!  We dressed her up to take her to her first chiropractic adjustment for her and for mommy!  She slept right through the whole thing - just like Aveah did on her first visit!

All of Avi's babies: Rico, Mila, Jake.  I think the center baby is her favorite!

Avi helping!  She's a really good helper: with diapers, blankets, clothes, and more - she will grab something we need for Mila and bring it to us!  Here she offered (all on her own) to help mommy hold up her shirt so Mila could eat.  What a sweet, considerate, thoughtful daughter and big sister!

your daddy's memory of your birth, Mila

Mila,

It was all kind of like a dream. I was sleeping on a cot next to your mom’s hospital bed, wearing ear plugs.  I awoke to the murmuring sound of your mom talking with Tanya, one of our midwives. The room was dark, and I lay there half-awake for a few minutes, listening for any urgency or intensity in the conversation. There didn’t seem any, so I may have fallen asleep for a few minutes more. Finally, I got up and stood by your mom’s side. Apparently she was having contractions, and this felt really good to know since it meant she wouldn’t have to take the hospital’s options for labor/inducement (pitocin, epidural, c-section), and this was very relieving. It meant things were going to be more on our terms. The whole time we were in the hospital, I felt like we were out of our element. Going to the hospital wasn’t what we planned or wanted. But hearing these news of your mom’s contractions and your likely natural delivery brought me a deeper sense of peace, and I could hear that deeper sense of peace in your mom’s voice too. As she already explained, our kissing is what brought you out into the world. Poetic, yes? There was a full moon outside (I can’t remember seeing the moon itself outside our window, which happened to have a nice view of Madonna Mountain), but the moonlit sky outside added ambiance into the quiet, dim, room. Our other midwife, Marissa, afterwards explained that your transit out of the womb happened during the planet Venus’ epic transit across the sun. More poetry.

And then, suddenly, you left the womb to join us. Just like that. There had been, what seemed to me, a brief period of your mom expressing deeper contractions, the nurse not really believing it, and your mom letting everyone know that you were coming and they had better get ready. I didn’t even have time (or the full awareness) to grab the video camera. I had planned to catch you with the assistance from the doctor, but you arrived sooner than he did, and the nurse who was in charge seemed to be struggling with the whole thing so I thought it too risky to confuse her even more. You came out really fast. Slip-n-slide fast. When you arrived, I remember there was this intense moment, like the breath had been taken out of everyone in the room. Like the room itself had gasped. And there you were- surprising us and everyone else in that room with your immediate, sudden presence. You were vulnerable but ready to meet us in a new way.

You had a good amount of hair- dark hair- and you looked like me. I remember the nurse fiddling with and untangling the cord around you and clamping it; I cut the cord which felt a bit counter-intuitive but my lack of sleep probably desensitized me somewhat and it wasn’t a problem. I held you and spoke your name; I wanted you to recognize my voice. When I held you against my bare chest, skin to skin, I remember your lightness of weight.

You still feel that way to me now, one month later. I’m writing this memory of your birth under that same full moon. With the dimness, sleepiness, dreaminess, that night feels like a long, long, time ago— longer than a month, longer than a year. In a way, I’m glad I didn’t grab that video camera, since my memory, preserved in these words rather than in digital data, will hold your birth as dream-like poetry. Mila, I will hold you in this way.

7-2-12 11:50 p.m.