Monday, April 13, 2009

The total loss of self-dignity, part 1

Slowly, your pride and ego wears away.  Maybe it begins with not being able to fit into jeans that you could fit into for years, maybe it is when you grandma says, "Your rear is getting much larger, honey," maybe it comes with the weird rashes that break-out at random all over your body - but at some point you lose that self-assurance you had with your pre-pregnant body.  But nothing can really prepare you for the low moment that happened Saturday morning.  

I woke up early, 6:00am, and had a nice productive morning working on photography business stuff.  Around 8:30 I decided I would go to the 9:00 local yoga class with some of my friends and neighbors.  I show up to a divinely small class - just 4 of us - all ready to slip into tranquil, thoughtful, quiet stretching.  Class was wonderful, I felt very healthy and peaceful.  Only the sounds of breathing and very light yogi music in the background could be heard.  Then it happened - the sound that shattered the peace and still-minds of my fellow-yogis, the sound that broke that last little shred of dignity I had over my body - a short, but powerful toot!  

If you haven't been pregnant, or if you've experienced a different pregnancy than most women, you may not realize you have no control over the sounds that come from your tush.  Farting (which I much prefer to call "tooting") is something you cannot control.  After my body's little "expression" in yoga - all the women opened their eyes, looked at me startled, then laughed.  Well, at least I am making others happy - there must be some yoga lesson in there. 

1 comment:

  1. Ahhh! I love it! You are a brave girl to even attempt a yoga class during the last few months of pregnancy! I avoided those classes for this exact reason because I knew the 2nd I got into a nice relaxing pose, "it" would happen. Thanks for the good laugh! Hope to see you soon!