Wednesday, March 4, 2009

On being a Saint.

Being pregnant can turn a sinner into a saint! It is almost like making vows when entering a nunnery! No drinking, no smoking (this isn't hard for me since I never smoked, but still), no missed sleep (or your body will make you pay later), no hot-tubbing (oh, how I miss this), no unhealthy foods (all of a sudden you feel guilty for eating those saturated fat fries cause you know it is going to the baby), no more cute clothes (you have thunder thighs, a huge girth, and boobs so big none of your sexy bras fit anymore - and if you do buy something cute, you won't be able to fit into it anymore next week anyways), no wild sleep positions (only sleeping on your sides - stomach too big now to lay on it, and it's nearly to the point I can't lay on my back comfortably), no being self-reliant (you can't pick up heavy objects or move stuff or your stomach muscles will cry the next day. ), no coffee (how will I make it another 4 months!?!), no Tylenol sinus or decongestants when you get sick or a stuffy head, no surfing or snowboarding anymore (I couldn't get my fat self into my wetsuit), etc. Complete denial of the flesh.

Come to think of it, the only thing I can do is have sex, but that's what got me into this mess in the first place! Maybe I should become a nun. At least then I could still hot tub!

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