From my/Michael's perspective, you ask any parent of a newborn who the cutest person in the world is, and they will of course tell you it’s their kid. But the thing is, people like that are operating under some crazy, delusional spell. It’s really just a biological trick to get them to bond with the baby and continue the human race. You could ask me the same question, and I’ll tell you the same thing— my kid is the cutest thing in the universe. The main difference however, is that I’m right. She really is the most beautiful baby in the universe. I can’t take my eyes off her. I hold her in front of me and lose myself in gazing goo-goo eyed. I get giddy at every little facial expression (there’s the ‘pursed-lip-I’m-too-good-for-all-of-this’ expression, the ‘furrowed-forehead-of-surprise’ expression, the ‘frantic-horror-stricken’ expression accompanied by her insane orchestra-conducting arms, etc., etc. etc.) You know that old Frankie Valli song, “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You”? That song is on repeat in my head. Especially when I’m not with her, that song is playing over and over and over. I facebooked with my cousin Candice who has not one, but five little girls, and told her I now understand the euphoric-addiction to baby-making. There is no question that I am punch drunk by this girl.
But the weird thing is, for all the tremendous love and awe I have for Avi, she barely even notices me. I spend a lot of time admiring her and talking to her and staring at her, but she doesn’t even return my gaze for longer than a second, if she’s even really looking at me (as opposed to her just seeing a fuzzy glob in front of her). I’m aware that she’s processing who I am, what I look and sound like, in her own neonatal way, but that just isn’t the same is it? She notices Maren way more than me, since Maren holds the groceries, literally. She’s dependent on her. But me? I’m just a supporting actor at best, really more of an extra on the set. Her heart-stopping gray eyes roam over the room and just glide right past me. I am a schoolboy with an intense crush on the most popular girl who doesn’t offer the time of day. She doesn’t even know my name. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining here, just observing. In fact, this all just adds to my infatuation with her. Because like any other sucker in love, the more I get ignored by her, the more I get hooked.